


As The World Caves In

by scharismatic



Category: DreamSMP
Genre: DreamSMP - Freeform, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:28:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29319408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scharismatic/pseuds/scharismatic
Summary: Y/N is a streamer who lives in the house of Twitch finds herself in a sticky situation after taking some musical advice from her dear friend Alex.
Relationships: Quackity/Reader, Sapnap/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	1. Hunger

My eyes opened in a blaze of horror. What was that nightmare? I was walking along the shore, when all of the sudden my eyes flew out of my skull. They kept rolling, but I could still see. They settled in a position just far enough for me to not be able to reach them. As I stepped further to reach them, I felt an arm holding me back. I looked back to see who it was, it was the same old shadowy figure from every night before. It screeched in my face until my skin melted, revealing my shallow skull. Just as the brain started to disintegrate, I woke up. This recurring nightmare had been happening for quite some time. I need to fix my sleeping habits. Just then, I get a knock on the door. I sit up, and walk towards the door.

“Who is it?” I cry out, still uncertain if I’m fully awake.

“It's...it's just me…” I hear from the other side. I would recognize that soft voice anywhere, it's Karl!

“Hold on Karl,” I reassure him, “I’m...almost ready,” I run back to throw on a sweatshirt 

and pull my hair up into some sort of pony tail. 

“Well, everyone is eating breakfast and...there’s not gonna be any left if you don’t hurry, Tommy is going crazy,” 

“Okay! I’m - I’m on my way,” I call out, pulling on my vans and struggling to forget my never ending nightmare. I run towards the door, and grab my bright purple room key off of my wooden dresser. I carefully pull open the door. Karl has already left and the scent of young men stinks up my freshly cleaned room. 

“OY! SHE’S AWAKE!” Tommy screamed, it’s too early for his screaming. 

“Oh, y/n!” Wilbur exclaims, “I saved you some food!”

“Thanks,” I mutter through the grogginess of my morning voice. My eyes are still half closed as well. I walk over to Wilbur, who is holding a plate of food for me. A yogurt, and half a piece of bacon. Breakfast. 

“Dream, someone needs to go shopping today...at some point,” Wilbur yells at Dream. Dream nods, and throws a plate at Wilbur, he doesn't catch it, and it falls to the ground right at my feet. Crashing into a hundred pieces. I hate it here. I grab my plate of food, and start to head back to my room. I am blocked by Sapnap. 

“Damn shawty,” I hear behind me.

“Go away,” I sternly say back. I’m not in the mood for anyone's shit today. I am too tired and it is my ONE day off for the month. I slowly creep back into my room when all of the sudden I bump in to Alex, Quackity as you may know him. I’ve always had a small crush on Quackity, but I know he won’t reciprocate those feelings, so I don't even try. 

“Woah, be careful y/n,” He sincerely says, “I don’t want you to break your arm...or something,” I chuckle, and nod, and bolt off to my room.  _ Oh god,  _ I think to myself,  _ that was SO awkward.  _ I get in my room, and slam the door behind me. I groan loudly, and go to sit on my bed. As soon as my fat ass plops on to the bed, I get another knock. 

“‘ELLO?!” I hear through the door. Oh god, it's Tommy. Tommy is young, 18 to be exact, and he's very...very...VERY loud. “SAPNAP SAYS HE’S SORRY FOR OBJECTIFYING YOU AS THE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN YOU ARE. I THINK SAPNAPS A LITTLE BITCH, BUT HAVE A GOOD DAY,” 

“Thanks,” I respond with no hesitation. I've learned not to argue with the child anymore. He never lets down. 

“OH AND ALSO PHILZA SAYS ELLO AND GOOD MORNIN’,” I don't respond, and for a few moments, there is silence. Then I hear one more giant knock on the door, this time I get up and storm towards the door, fully prepared to yell at Tommy. I open the door with an incredibly angry and hostile expression. However, when I open the door, it's just Alex. 

He is clearly frightened and taken aback by my hostile and angry look. 

“Oh, uh, I- I just wanted to check on you. You seemed a little off at breakfast,”

“Uh - Uh yeah,” I respond, “I’m just...tired…” He looks at me with wide eyes, god I love his eyes. They share a color with Lindt chocolates, my favorite. They also remind me of the eyes of a deer, my favorite animal. 

“Well, y/n, I think this will help you sleep, at least a little better,” He informs me, he searches his pocket for a moment, and then pulls out a spotify code. “Yeah uh, this playlist always helps me unwind, maybe it could help you, y’know, relax,” I take the small slip of paper, and place it on my cabinet next to my door. It curls up, like he has been clutching it in his hand for a long while. I look back up at his face, and notice a slight red tint in his cheeks. Is...is he blushing?

“Thanks Alex, this means more than you could ever know,”

“Yeah I just - I know how deeply you connect to music,” he catches himself when he notices I’ve never actually told  _ him  _ this, I’ve only mentioned it on my streams. “Well, I- That's what I heard...at least…” He trails off and blushes even harder. He makes eye contact with me, and I pull him in for a hug. He doesn't resist at all, he hugs me harder back. That's odd for him.

After we hug, he abruptly leaves. No goodbye or anything. My head hurts so bad, but I wish he would’ve stayed...even a second longer. I miss his gaze into my eyes, and I miss feeling wrapped securely in his arms. I guess it’s too late now. I sigh and close the door slowly, I turn around and grab the slim slip of paper curled up on my cabinet. I walk back to my bed, lay down, and put in my airpods on noise canceling mode. Carefully, I scan the spotify code. It brings me to his secret spotify account, and brings me to his playlist called “Alex’s chill jams” The profile picture is Wilbur eating a waffle...for some reason. I click shuffle, and the first song to come on starts in a solemn and sad mood with some chill piano and vocals.

_ My feet are aching _

_ And your back is pretty tired _

_ And we’ve drunk a couple bottles babe _

_ And set our grief aside _

I let the lyrics bleed into my brain and infect me with their way of words. I sit back and allow my head to rest gently on my pillow. As the song continues, I feel the lyrics seep into my head even more. I see images, pictures, videos, whatever. I see moments. One moment, it's him and I, sitting in my room watching the sunset on a cloudy day, the scent of rain and pine candles fills our noses as he wraps his arms around me. The sun sets, and I cry in his arms. I don’t know for what reason, but I’m crying. I’m sobbing. He kisses my head as a single tear drops down his cheek. 

_ Oh god its you, that I lie with _

_ As the atom bomb locks in _

_ Its you, I watch TV with  _

_ As the world, as the world caves in _

I feel myself sink deeper into this state, deeper, and deeper still. I’m convinced I am no longer in my quiet depressing bedroom, but in space, and he’s next to me. I feel the stars, their warmth and their expression...or maybe it's just him. 

_ Yes it's you, I welcome death with _

_ As the world, as the world caves in _

As the song comes to a close, I see him wrap his arms around me, and my sobbing comes to a close with the final words softly sung.

_ As the world caves in _

The song is over. I awaken from this dream-like stance and realize I’ve been crying. Not just in the strange vision, but as myself. I rip out my earbuds and give in to the emotions. I throw my airpods on the ground in a flurry of feelings. I’ve never felt my crush  _ this  _ strong. God, what's wrong with me. I wipe the tears from under my eyes and walk to my closet. I pull out a bra, and a shirt and some actual pants that aren't covered in sweat from my sleep. I plug my phone into the speaker and play a different song as I get dressed. As I carefully dress myself, I realize, I’ll never be able to  _ not  _ want him now. 

That song changed something in me.


	2. Thirst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/N tells Niki about what happened, has another terrifying dream, and makes a huge decision that could impact her entire life as she knows it.

As soon as I was done getting dressed, I decided to get out of the house to clear my head. I picked my airpods up that were sprawled at the foot of my bed. I want to go back to that song. I want to live in that reality forever. But if I’m always stuck in my dream, how am I going to differentiate dreams from my real life. I need to stay grounded. I stepped out of my room and quickly walked toward the door in hopes of avoiding Alex. If I saw him right now, I have no clue what I’d even be able to say. I obviously can’t tell him what I saw, but I can’t lie through my teeth either. Luckily, I made it to the door with no issues whatsoever. I tossed on my black sweater and sat down to tie up my Doc Martens. 

“Where are you going?” A curious voice asked from above me. She startled me at first, but it was just Niki. She stared down at me with an inquisitive expression. 

“I’m going for a walk, want to come with me? I really need to tell you about what just happened,” Niki had been my best friend ever since I moved in here. I trust her with my life, I always tell her everything. Well...we tell each other everything. She knows all about my...formerly small crush on Alex. 

“Yes I do,” she cheered. She looks at me suspiciously “Did you sleep last night,”

“Of course,” shit, I can tell she knows I’m lying by the look in her eyes, “well...not that much and...not well...at all,”

“Did you have the nightmare again?” She asks, she moves beside me to get her yellow raincoat from the front hallway, I hesitate to answer, she reaches down by me to grab her silicone yellow rain boots. I glance at her concerned face. 

“Yes, same one,” I finally respond. She drops her head and sighs. 

“Lets go,” She says, she grabs her yellow umbrella and opens the door. I can smell the impending rain. It's supposed to rain in about 30 minutes. I cautiously step out the door, in fears that Alex is coming back from grabbing food or something. I finally walk down the hard, concrete steps. I feel myself breathing in the heavy fog with every hyperventilated breath. 

“Niki, something weird happened this morning,” 

“Oh?”

“Well,” I start, I'm trying to figure out how to phrase this in a way where I don't sound insane, “Alex came by my room, and he gave me a Spotify code to a playlist. So obviously I listened to it and...well…” I carefully detail to Niki the exact scene I was faced with when I let myself melt into the music. 

“Well, It sounds like you definitely have feelings for Alex,” 

“No, really?” I sarcastically rebuttal

“Maybe you need to tell him. Have you ever seen visions like this when you listen to songs before?”

“No. Never,” She pauses and looks slightly up, this is what she does when she’s thinking. She opens her mouth as if about to say something, but closes it soon after. Her pink hair bounces as she walks in deep thought. She glances at me from the corner of her eye, and then lights up as if she has an idea.

“Okay, I think you need to tell him, soon,”

“What?! Niki, no,” I state. I'm not going to ruin our friendship because I had some weird vision about him and I. It probably doesn't even mean anything...right? Right? 

“y/n you have to! Otherwise you will never be able to sleep, or eat, or talk to him every again and you guys collaborate all the time, it's going to be impossible to work with him if you don’t at least tell him you like him,” I take this into serious consideration. Maybe Niki has a point. Maybe I should tell him. We walk for 5 more minutes in silence before rounding the block back to our house. Just as we round the corner, guess who we run in to, Alex. As soon as I see him, all I can see is this morning. His arms wrapped around me as I sob into oblivion. I glance at Niki with panicked eyes. “Oh calm down, maybe he won’t even notice you,” Just as these words leave her lips, he makes direct eye contact with me. Oh god, I feel his eyes burn into my soul.  _ Can he hear what i'm thinking? I don’t think so...right? Alex itch your nose if you can hear this…  _ He makes no move to itch his nose, but he does decide to walk over to us. I can’t even think of the word  _ Hello.  _ All I can think of is the scent of pine candles. 

“Hey Niki! Hey y/n!” He yells, Niki cheerfully waves and starts a conversation with him. As I walk closer to him I notice things I’ve never noticed about him before. Has he always been this...muscular and this...attractive? I don’t know, but now I’m imagining him with his clothes off, oh god he has a 6 pack, yes. He has-

“What do you think y/n?” He asks, interrupting my little moment.

“Uh, i'm sorry, what was the question?” He chuckles at my response, but I stare at him seriously confused. 

“He asked you if you liked the playlist that he gave you,” Niki breaks it down for me. 

“Oh- Uh- yes! I loved it!” I reply, avoiding eye contact in fears it may send me down a spiral. “I - have to pee. Bye,” I exclaim. He awkwardly waves, and laughs. I bolt to the door, I need to get out of here. Why did I just have the sudden urge to make out with him...right there? Oh my god, I need to take a nap. Maybe that's what this is, sleep deprivation. Yeah, thats what it is. I need sleep.

As soon as I’m in the house, I tear off my sweater, unlace my docs, and sprint to my room. I shut the lights off and plug my phone in to the speaker. I play my sleep playlist loud enough so people will know what I’m trying to accomplish. I jump into my bed and pull the covers over my face in hopes of sleeping. Soon enough, I am asleep. 

_ I wake up in a room. Its empty, and there is 1 window, its directly above my head. The whole room is painted a shade of depressing grey. I pace the room and when I turn around, there’s a door. I prance towards the door as my heart sinks. I would feel excited but I know behind this door is probably the dark figure. I hesitate and move my hand away from the door knob and back a few different times. I finally decide to open the door. I grasp the fragile brass in my hand. It feels cold, and soft. I open the door and walk out into a desert. The sand burns my feel and the heat is singing the ends of my hair. I walk out a few steps, and I realize there is no water here. There isn't any water anywhere. I turn around to face the door to go back, but there is no door in sight. I start to walk, as I walk, I sink deeper in the sand. Deeper, deeper still. I start to become thirsty. I cry out for help. I cry out for water.  _

_ “Water?” I hear a voice behind me say, I whip my head around in desperation. _

_ “Alex!” I yell, he's holding a bottle of water, I start to run towards him, but the farther I run, the deeper I sink. He starts to run too, but he doesn't sink. Only me. It becomes increasingly harder to move my legs in the sand, and my energy becomes less and less. Just as I’m about to reach him, I am completely swallowed by the sand. I scream, I kick, I dig, but in the end, I suffocate.  _

I gasp for air, as I wake up from my sleep. I sit up, lean over, and turn the lights on. Im fine. I did not suffocate in sand. Thank god. I go over to the speaker to disconnect my phone, when I see that I have 4 missed calls from Niki.  _ Shit  _ I think to myself. I sprint out of my room to try and find Niki and tell her what just happened, but I’m stopped by Sapnap and Karl telling me its time for dinner. 

“What?! But it's only-” I glance down at my Apple Watch and see that I slept for...5 hours?! It's 7 oclock?! I swear I only slept for 20 minutes. I make my way to the kitchen to grab food. I grab a taco and head to Niki’s room. I knock, no response, knock again, no response. Whatever, I just wont tell her about this one I guess. Where is she? 

I speed walk back to my room. My stomach churns with uncertainty. That dream was...unique. So I’m making up my mind. Tomorrow I’m gonna tell Alex everything. 

As soon as I get to my room, I throw away my food. I try to sleep again, but my stomach bubbles and churns. I can’t seem to get it quiet. So I call Alex, he doesn't sleep anyways.

“Hey um, I feel super shitty, will you...come hang out with me,” I clutch the phone in my hands through rivers of sweat. My hands shake as I await his response. He is silent for a minute. But then, 

“Of course, did you eat?”

“Um, no,” I admit, “I guess I just wasn’t hungry,” 

“I'm on my way,” he says, and hangs up. 

All of the sudden, I feel better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was really nice to write, Niki and the readers friendship will be extremely crucial later in the story. This chapter really serves as a build up to chapter 3, where shit kinda hits the fan.


	3. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader confesses what she has seen to Alex, and makes a very...questionable choice afterwards.

I sit up in my bed with a million butterflies in my stomach. Not from excitement, but from regret  _ god, why did I do that?  _ I wonder to myself. I slowly get up and pace around my room for the time being. I have a way of pacing I always follow.  _ Get up, 4 steps forward...1 2 3 4, turn left, 4 steps forward...1 2 3 4, turn ri-  _ my carefully planned pacing is interrupted by the knock I've been dreading. I flinch and collect my thoughts, then I head toward the door. With each step, my heartbeat raises by 10 bpm.  _ I have to tell him...I have to…  _ I open the door. 

He’s standing there wearing a white t-shirt and sweatpants. He’s not wearing his beanie for once, and his hair sits on top of his head in a black mess. He must really trust me if he’s not wearing his beanie. He doesn't look tired at all, and is holding a Monster in his left hand. I make eye contact with him, and he smiles at me. 

“Hey,” He says, breaking me from my stare into his eyes. 

“Hey,” I reply, cracking a smile back. 

“Can...I come in?” He asks, I nod in response. He blushes and walks into my room. I don’t think he’s ever been in my room. The only people who have been in my room are...Niki and Tommy (Tommy was by force, he wouldn't leave my room unless I gave him coffee, hes usually not allowed to have coffee). 

My room is decorated just as I want it. I have pictures of my family and pets, and of course, pictures of my friends. There is a whole wall with just pictures of just me and Niki. I have my streaming set up, my bed, my couch, my TV, my speaker, and some other various accessories. The only thing that isn’t fully decorated is my bathroom, cause who decorates a bathroom? 

Alex moves his eyes around my room, carefully examining the things on my walls. 

“I really like your room,” He observes

“Thank you, it's very important to me. Self expression is...a big part of me,”

“Well, I think you do a great job expressing yourself. I really like all of the pictures and stuff on the walls. I wish my room was this decorated,” He takes a breath, and continues, “Will you...help me decorate my room some time?” My heart starts to jump. 

“Yes! Of course! Any time!” I exclaim back to him. His smile grows larger and I can see the excitement in his eyes. 

“You should...turn on some music,” He suggests. I nod in agreement and walk over to the speaker. He walks over to my couch and sits down. I turn his playlist on, and pray that the dreaded song doesn’t start playing. The first song to play is  _ Heat Waves  _ by the Glass Animals. Okay, that's fine. 

“Aw man I love this song,” He says, he starts to sing along.  _ Wow, he has a really good voice.  _ He stops when he realizes how much he’s getting into it. “I - uh - sorry,”

“No, don't apologize! I understand,” I lightly laugh, “music is very impactful to me. It's the only thing I can really connect with, the only thing that can...make me really  _ feel  _ my emotions,” 

“Wait, me too,” He responds, he seems excited to hear someone share this feeling with him. His eyes light up and he sits up straight. 

“Yeah maybe it's -” I start to respond, but then I hear it.

_ My feet are aching, and your back is pretty tired _

_ No, no no no no no!  _ I start to completely panic, so I rush over to the speaker to pause the song. 

“Hey, why did you skip that song?” He asks. I can’t bring myself to respond. I just stare at my phone. I can’t respond, my lips are glued together by uncertainty and fear. “Thats like, my favorite song y/n, why’d you skip it?” I glance back at him, and then back at the phone. The silence in the room is louder than any song could’ve been in that moment.

“I - I have to tell you something Alex,” He looks at me, confused. I take a deep breath, and decide to spill everything. This could ruin anything that's started between us. I take a deep breath, and sit by him on the couch. “This morning, when you gave me the playlist, i listened to it immediately,” I debate whether or not to say the next thing, “I turned on that song, and, something happened. Something weird, and you have to promise not to tell anyone ever. Not even Karl,” He looks stunned, but he nods his head. 

“I promise,” He says

“Okay, well, that song came on and….I don't know...it was like I was dreaming but, I was awake. I saw moments, moving pictures of life. While I saw a few small moments, there was this one that stuck with me,”  _ get it out y/n, you can do it. If you lose him, you still have Niki and the rest of your friends,  _ “It was me sitting on the bed and watching the cloudy sunset outside. It smelled of pine scented candles and the song blasted through the speakers, I was sobbing, I don't know why,” Oh god, he looks so confused. Get this out, do it. “And you were there, you….had your arms wrapped around me and you were crying too, and - you...kissed me…” I trail off, I realize I've gone too far when I see his face. I don’t even know what expression that is. He looks confused and disappointed and a little betrayed. We sit in silence for a moment, It takes me a moment to realize what I’d just done, my eyes widen with anxiety, my pulse rises. 

“Wait I - Alex - ,” He keeps the same expression, but quickly gets up and leaves. I call out after him. 

“Alex! Come back I’m sorry, please come back!” He ignores me and keeps walking.  _ Fuck,  _ I think  _ I fucked it all up. Even if he was starting to like me, I fucked it up. How do I forget about this?  _ I hear the door slam as I contemplate what to do. Just then, I get an idea. I need to forget what just happened. I need to get over it. I hyperventilate until I come up with an idea.  _ I just need to forget,  _ I tell myself  _ I just need 1 night of blissful ignorance to what just happened, I’ll face it in the morning.  _ I grab my phone, no shaking this time. I’m making my choice. I open up contacts to Sapnaps phone number, I hover my finger over the call button as I debate whether or not to do this. Then I think, who gives a fuck anymore. Alex will never love me now, maybe I can fix myself. I click the button. He picks up instantly.

“Hey, what's goin on?” He asks.

“Come over to my room,” I state. 

“Uh - okay, okay, i'm on my way,”

“Nick wait,” I make it very clear “this is nothing more than a hookup, got it?”

“Got it,” He replies. I've made my choice. I need to forget, for one night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please dont send this to the CC's or I will take it down. Thanks for enjoying my story :D! I posted this right after chapter 2 because I feel like it would be cruel to make everyone wait for this extremely important chapter. Chapter 4 will be uploaded on monday!!


	4. Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night of severe mistakes, y/n calls for the help of her best friend Niki, and talks to Alex about the night before.

I softly open my eyes to the bright light of day. No dreaming last night, huh? God what even happened last night? My head pounds as I stand up to go grab water, but I realize I’m wearing a big shirt that...isn't mine. I look back at my bed and see Nick still peacefully sleeping under my blankets. Oh my god. The memories rush back into my head, the confession, Alex storming out, calling Nick. Did I really...have sex with Nick?! With SAPNAP?! I rush to take my birth control in the bathroom to assure I can't become pregnant with Sapnap’s baby. I take my pill, and go to get dressed. I hear Nick waking up, he turns to me with a mildly confused look and says.

“Did we…?”

“Yes Nick, we did, and you can never EVER speak of it again, it was a mistake,”

“Gotcha,” I can tell Nick has been through routine this before. He’s kind of who all the girls call up when they need to forget about something. He’s who anyone calls up when they need to forget about something. He has the sex, the weed, and the alc. At this point I think that all the girls in the house have slept with Nick. Sometimes, I feel bad for him, but honestly right now I can’t think of anyone but Alex. God, why did I sleep with Sapnap?! Nick starts to get up and put his clothes on and leave.

“Y/n, I think you’re better than this,” He says, I whip my head around, stunned.

“W-What?!” 

“Well, the rest of the girls in the house, they aren’t like you, I think that you’re better than a one night stand with a loser like me,”

“Nick, don’t say that, you aren’t a loser, you just need to find your person,”

“Whatever,” He snarks, and then he walks out of my room. Soon after he leaves, I get a knock on the door. I can tell by the soft knocking that it's Niki. 

“Come in!” I shout to her as I pull up my skirt over my worn down fishnet tights. Niki walks into the room wearily.

“Was that...Sapnap...leaving your room?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,”

“Why the hell did you hook up with Sapnap?”

“Because I ruined everything with Alex, I told him everything like an idiot and he silently stormed out. I needed to forget, and it worked,” 

“Y/n, that's not healthy,”

“I don’t care Niki!” I yell, “I don’t care if i’m healthy anymore! No one does! I love him and I fucked it all up,” Niki looks at me, stunned. 

“Your audience cares!” she pauses, “I care! Will cares! Karl cares! Schlatt cares! We all care! What is wrong with you today?”

“Are you deaf Niki?! I told you! I fucked it up! I fuck everything up!” 

“Calm down,” 

“NO! I won’t calm down! All I do is fuck everything up!”

“STOP!” Niki screams. Her screaming brings the whole room down to a small moment of silence, she never screams or yells. I breathe in and out, and then I start to cry. The tears rush down my face like a waterfall, they bring me down with them, I sink to the floor. I drop my head into my hands and let my sadness take me over. Niki sits down next to me and I fall into her arms. I cry harder, I sob.

“Why do I ruin everything Niki?” I sob

“You don’t ruin everything y/n,” she comforts me, “you made some mistakes, that's all, and you can fix it,”

“No,” I reply, “I can’t fix it Niki,” She puts her arm around my shoulders.

“Yes, you can,” She says, “I know you can,” My sobbing ceases hearing her speak these words. No one has ever said that to me. I know it sounds cheesy as fuck, but no one believes in me, ever. As my sobbing slows down, I get another knock on the door. I recognize the voice instantly.

“Hey, um I can hear you like...sobbing from next door, I just wanted to say that you’re doing great. Also I heard you having sex with Sapnap last night uh… wouldn’t be my first choice but y’know, you gotta do what you gotta do. I'm here for you if you need me, see ya,” Schlatt yells through the door. I hear him walk away, sneeze, and go into his room next door. 

“Why are these walls so thin,” I chuckle through my remaining tears. Niki giggles with me. I decide to get out of my room. I can’t just stay in here all day, plus I have to stream at 3. I have to check the schedule to see what I’m doing. I pray that it's not with Alex. I slowly stand up and start towards the door, Niki is already outside. Just as I am about to leave I get a text. 

It's from Alex. 

I unlock my phone and brace myself before opening the messages app to see what he says. I close my eyes, and repeat the careful clicking pattern I need to take to get to his message. I open my eyes, and look down.

hey come to my room. i need to talk to you. 

Well fuck. I put my phone on my cabinet, and start making my way to Alex’s room. Each step feels like i'm sinking, like the dream I had with the sand. But I’m not gonna let myself sink, I’m gonna fix it. I’ll fix it. 

Our rooms aren’t that far from each other, he lives 3 rooms down. It goes me, Schlatt, Wilbur, than him. I can’t stand to face him now, but I know its what I have to do. I stand in front of his door, begging for someone to come ask me for help, or to hang out, or something. Even Sapnap saying some shit would be better than what's about to happen. I lift my arm, pause, and then knock on the door.

He opens the door, and pulls me into his room, forcibly sitting me down on his bed. 

“Don’t talk until I’m done,” He tells me. I run through all of the possibilities in my head of what he could say. “Okay,” he takes a deep breath, “So I thought about what you said last night, about your...vision… and I have some things I need to say,” Oh god here it comes, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The atomic bomb that will destroy me and blow me up into a million chunks all over alex’s room. He opens his mouth to speak and I wince. Just say it. 

“I want to be with you,” he says. I am taken aback by this, I almost fly through the couch. 

“W-what?!” I shout, “even after what happened, you want to be with me?”

“I - can't explain it but what you said, it made me want you. I usually would be creeped out but something about the fact that you saw me, made me feel it. I just - can't explain it,” I stare at him in complete shock, but on the inside I'm exploding. I guess I don’t notice how I’m just...staring at him with a shocked expression. “Do...do you want to be with me?”

“Yes yes of course! Yes!” I shout. I beam with excitement. I’m pretty sure my insides are jumping up and down and up and down and up and down! I feel like everything that could go right, is going right. But, what about Nick? If Alex ever found out what I did with Nick I don’t really know what would happen. Probably nothing, I shouldn’t stress over it. “Wait so does this mean we are like...boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“What are we in 10th grade? Yes,” He pulled me in for a kiss, but before we could kiss we heard clapping coming from outside.

“Yay! Good job guys! I definitely have not been listening to this conversation from outside the door. Y/n, I’m glad things are looking up. See ya,”

“Uh...thanks...Schlatt,” I call out through the door. I’m where I’m meant to be, I’m with who I’m meant to be with.

Everything is perfect.


	5. Rumors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when someone lets it slip that y/n and Alex are in a relationship?

Chapter 5 - Rumors  
The news of our new relationship spreads through the house like a forest fire in California. Everyone seems to be happy for us!   
Everyone except Nick.   
But who cares what Nick thinks? That was a one night stand, and that's all it’ll ever be. We decide not to tell twitter or the stream or anything yet, since it's new and we don’t want weird fanfictions or stuff like that to arise. A few hours after we make it official with each other, I go to look at the streaming schedule. The schedule is set up with people's names and what they’re meant to be streaming and when.   
JACKBOX - Y/N, ALEX, NICK, KARL, TOMMY, GEORGE, AND CLAY - 2 PM  
Perfect. My favorite. I check my Apple watch, 1:47, almost time. I go back to my room, and set up.   
Immediately when I start streaming, there are rumors in the chat. I try my best to ignore them but it's almost like an outside source had already told people. That can’t be a thing, none of us would do that. I’m sure it’s just the shippers again, they’ve done this before with me and Karl, if you ignore it, it goes away. I take a deep breath, switch my layout, and start streaming.  
***  
It’s all going great until we get to Mad Verse City. I’m up against Sapnap. Im sure he wont say anything that will derail my relationship, but I hope he doesn’t say anything about my body or the events of last night. I am filled with regret from last night. The chat has decided to start spamming “Y/N X QUACKITY OMG OMG” over and over again.  
“Guys, stop spamming that please,” I tell my stream. They don’t listen. Whatever, 14 year old kids are gonna do what they’re gonna do. The silence is loud as we write in our lyrics.   
WRITE A NEGATIVE ADJECTIVE _______  
I write “shitty”   
WRITE A LINE THAT RHYMES WITH: YOU TALK TO ME BUT YOUR RHYMES ARE SHITTY  
This one takes me a second to think about. I decide to go with “The only subs you get, are from Dream’s pity”  
WRITE THE NAME OF A SMALL ANIMAL _____  
Jesus what kind of prompts are these. I write “hamster”  
WRITE A LINE THAT RHYMES WITH: YOU CHALLENGE ME, WELL YOU’RE A HAMSTER  
What in the world? I type “You mad cause you just got owned by me, damn sir,” I'm the first one to lock my answers in. George is shortly after me. George and Dream bicker about who is gonna be the best and win the round. I don’t know why they’re fighting, they aren’t even going against each other. By the time they’re done arguing, the round is about to start. It's me vs sapnap first, I am rapping first.   
“Okay lets do this, uh, yeah, Jessie J,” I start, “you talk to me but your rhymes are shitty, the only subs you get are from dreams pity, you challenge me? Well, you’re a hamster. You mad cause you got owned by me, damn sir,”  
“OH SHIT Y/N POPPIN OFF,” Karl shouted   
“POPPIN OFF SHE POPPIN OFF,” Alex followed.   
“Oh you’re not even ready for this one y/n,” sapnap prepares us, “you throwing sticks but your rhymes are sticky, i hope you know your content is shifty, you talk big talk but you’re really big mad, you’re dating quackity, now the whole world knows, you mad?” He ends. The stream goes completely silent. No one says a word. The silence is so loud. I get a text from Alex.  
MAN WHAT THE FUCK?! I'M GONNA KILL NICK. FOR REAL.  
“Hey guys i’ll be right back, george, karl, you guys have fun...tell me who wins..” I stutter. I run down to Alex’s room and just go in.   
“What the fuck was that?!” I yelled. Angry tears filled my eyes as my infuriation bubbled and boiled inside of me.   
“I don't know! Why would he say that?! Even if we play it off as a joke, people are still gonna know,”  
“I can’t believe this, after this stream i’m gonna talk to him about it,” I paused, debating whether or not I should tell Alex about what happened the night before. On an impulse, i decided to tell him. “Alex I have to tell you something, it might be the reason Nick is being like this,” I took a breath. He wouldn’t be mad, right? It was before we were even dating, its fine.   
“After you left last night, I thought you were done with me so...I texted Nick and…”  
“I know, Schlatt told me,”   
“You...you know?!”  
“Of course I know, I’m not mad. I know it was meaningless, if it meant something, you wouldn’t have said yes to me today, I...trust you,” He said, something in his voice sounded jealous, or untruthful. I couldn’t make it out.   
“Hey guys, uh, looks like maybe we should end the stream, i don’t think y/n or quackity is coming back sorry,” I hear Karl say from the laptop. Then the screen goes dark. Alex turns off his stream, and we go back to my room. Outside of my room is the mothefucker himself, Sapnap.   
“Get the fuck out of here Nick,” Alex fumed.   
“Yo, calm down, im here to apologize,” He responded, seemingly with no remorse or feeling.   
“Apologize?” I madly laugh, “APOLOGIZE?! Do you realize what you’ve done? So I fucked you once, big fuckin deal! It meant NOTHING Nick, get that through your empty skull, are you in love with me or something? Jesus fucking christ nick! Go jerk off to a picture of me or something. Just get the fuck out of here,” I scream. After I scream this I'm out of breath. Nick stands there for a second, surprised at my reaction. He walks away defeatedly after I release all of my anger on him.   
“Wow y/n, I’ve never seen you do that. Bravo, I'm very impressed. You’re tougher than ya look kid. Good on ya. Also nice tits. See ya,”   
“GOD DAMNIT SCHLATT WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE CONSTANTLY LISTENING?! JESUS!” Schlatt backs up into his room. I storm back into my room and the notifications start flooding in. All of the “OMG SO CUTE U AND BIG Q” and all of the shippers. God its so overwhelming. Why can’t i just have a normal relationship without everyone getting involved?! This is all Nick’s fault. I’ll never forgive him. He probably gave me an STD or some shit too. I hate him. Alex stares at the pictures on my wall, closely examining every picture.   
“I need to update my wall,” I tell him. I’m still angry, but i’m not gonna take it out on him. He’s only been supportive this whole time. I walk over to the wall and rip every picture with Nick in it off the red wallpaper. They slowly fall to the floor. I don’t care who else was in the pictures, I want them gone.  
I want them burnt to a crisp.   
As I tear them off the wall, i start to tear them more, until every bit of my rage is put into ripping these thick pieces of paper until they’re nothing but atoms. As I tear, I start to scream.   
“Fuck you Nick! Fuck you!”  
I throw all of the fragments of great memories with my friends on to the floor. Alex watches me from the bed, he stays still until I pull a purple lighter out of my pocket. When I do this he comes over to me.  
“Hey, no, give me the lighter,” I resist his pleads for me to hand him the small ignited flame that sits in my hand.  
Tears start rumbling down my face like boulders in a rock slide. But this lighter won’t do, no. I need matches. I run into the bathroom, and grab matches.  
“NO!” Alex yells  
I light the match. I lift my arm to throw it. But before I can, Alex grabs my hand and wraps me in his arms. He takes the matches.  
I cry in his arms on the floor until I’m too tired to let myself cry. I check the time on my Apple Watch, 9 PM. I silently go lay down in my bed and shut my eyes, he sleeps next to me.  
I don’t feel anger with him next to me.

**Author's Note:**

> Please dont send this to the CC's or I will remove the story. Thanks for enjoying my writing :D!


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